In Acceptance

"I don’t fit in any of the books," says Molly O’Shea, her bright smile lighting up her face. It is a strong smile - a smile that has lived through much pain, a smile that has survived the worst that life could put her through. Molly suffers from an ovarian cancer that threatens to overtake her life.

A single mother with a teenage daughter, juggling her personal life with her career was in itself a major challenge to Molly. Added to that, reoccurrence of the cancer meant that life as she knew it would come to a grinding halt. Molly worried that she would be permanently disabled. She worried that she would be in constant pain. She worried that she would die. But most of all she worried about who would look after her daughter. It was at this juncture that some of Amma’s children from Amma’s ‘Circle Of Love’ project leaned over to her, offering a helping hand.

"For me, the most difficult part was to accept that I needed help," says Molly. "Once I got through that hurdle, the help just started rolling in." The ‘Circle of Love’ volunteers began to visit her every evening that she was in the hospital. A well-planned schedule brought hot meals for Molly and her daughter. Transportation was taken care of. Everything was done with an unmatched love and energy that bore Amma’s unmistakable fragrance. "They somehow felt like extensions of Amma’s arms....," Molly remembers fondly.

"I am continually thankful for all the Grace that has flowed into my life. Everyone gives so selflessly - writing to me, praying for me with no expectations of getting anything in return. In fact they tell me that they feel uplifted by doing it!"

"All those wonderful people sharing their time and effort - one young woman came and played her guitar one evening. She sang a devotional hymn filling the sterile hospital walls with bliss. We sang along gently, even my mother was very moved!" Molly recalls.

Circle of Love members visit local nursing home near San Ramon, California

People have even sent her mail from across the country. "For me it is a wonderful gift that I receive every time I open the mailbox. People have sent me get-well cards and letters sharing their experiences with Amma.(Amma is a symbol of hope and comfort for millions of people.Amma's tremendous presence and love gives a lot of strength to people.) I have received packets of sacred ash blessed by Amma. And pictures of Amma. My house is filled with pictures of Amma now - they help me to tangibly feel Amma’s love and presence."

"It must be Amma’s Grace. I don’t fit in any of the books," she repeats. "Quite surprisingly, I am not in a lot of pain. Neither am I disabled by this disease. My doctor jokes, Molly, whatever it is that you’re doing, keep doing it. It works."

In all her struggles, Amma has always been with her to shine the guiding light. "Do your mantra outside - out in nature," was Amma’s advice when she heard about the cancer. "Turn over all the darkness..." Her words gave Molly the peace she sought and she started practicing the Chinese energy healing, Chi-Gung, in her garden with renewed intensity.

"What shall I do about my daughter? How can I help her get though all this?" Molly unloaded her next worry on Amma’s lap. Amma gently touched her face and looked at her lovingly. "Don’t worry," Amma said, "Amma will take care of her." The melting compassion that she saw in Amma’s eyes made Molly realize the simple truth of the statement. Her anxiety faded away.

Amma also gave Molly the awareness that her medical condition was still fragile and would require continued treatment. As she came to terms with this, Molly unexpectedly found her fears lifting. "The cancer is still hanging around," she says in acceptance."“But I feel healed on many levels. It is my spirit - my being, my inner self - that is healing. I am incredibly happy. I met Amma several years ago and I am walking ever and ever closer to her..."

"My struggle and all the help that I have received has also made me look for new avenues to do seva (selfless service). I try to turn around and give as I have received, according to my capacity. Sometimes I try to do some extra work at the ashram, sometimes I am given the opportunity to speak a kind word and encourage fellow patients at the hospital. I pray that Amma gives me renewed strength for me to do more seva in her name."

Since her chemotherapy is on an ongoing basis, Molly needs constant help, and Amma’s children are readily on hand to provide it. There are always people to transport her to and from the hospital, provide ready-cooked meals when she needs them, to talk to her and keep her going when she is having a down day.

The overwhelming love, encouragement and support that Amma’s children have given Molly has helped sustain her through her ongoing battle. "Something very magical is happening here," she says softly. "Ovarian cancer is no joke, you know. Thanks to Amma and her children, the road has been made much easier. It has made me realize that Mother’s Love is always with us, even when we are not aware of it. Over and beyond that, she is also making each one of us a sparkling ambassador of her wonderful Love.... "